What kind of button won't unbutton?
A bellybutton!

What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice Crispies

Why is Dracula so unpopular?
He's a pain in the neck.

What did the chewing gum say to the shoe?
Im Stuck On You

What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!

Why did the jelly wobble?
Because it saw the milk shake!

What kind of key opens a banana?
A monkey!


What does a shark eat with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!

How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!

What pet makes the loudest noise?
A trum-pet!

Why did Tommy throw the clock out of the window?

Because he wanted to see time fly!

What do you call artificial spaghetti?

Mockaroni!

What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving?

A turkey!


What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck!


What do you get when you put a fish and an elephant together?

Swimming trunks.

KNOCK KNOCK
Who's There?
Honeycomb
Honeycomb Who?
Honeycomb your hair!

KNOCK KNOCK
Who's There?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for dinner!


KNOCK KNOCK
Who's There?
Roach
Roach who?
Roach you a letter, did you get it?


KNOCK KNOCK
Who's There?
Anita
Anita who?
Anita tissue....ah-choo! Too late!


KNOCK KNOCK
Who's There?
Rita
Rita who?
Rita book, you might learn something!


What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
Odor in the court!

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogey in it!

Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!

What has four legs but can't walk?
A table!

What did the ground say to the earthquake?
You crack me up!

What did the spider do on the computer?
Made a website!

Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 789!

Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.

What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A little horse.

What do you call cheese that is not yours?
Nacho Cheese.

Why is Basketball such a messy sport?
Because you dribble on the floor!

What do you get when you put a
fish and an elephant together?

Swimming trunks.

What goes up when the rain comes down?
An umbrella.


What disappears when you stand up?
Your lap.

What did the big firecracker
say to the little firecracker?
My pop is bigger than yours.

What do you call a boomerang
that doesn't come back?

A stick


How does a skeleton call his friends?
On a Telebone




What gives milk and has one horn?

A milk truck!



What did King Tut say to the museum?
I want my mummy!


What goes TICK-TICK, WOOF-WOOF?
A watchdog!




Why do male deer need braces?

Because they have "buck teeth!"


What runs but never walks?
Water!

How do you make milk shake?
Give it a good scare!

What flies and wobbles at the same time?
A jelly copter!

Waiter, this soup tastes funny?
Then why aren't you laughing!

Why did the clock get sick?
It was run down!

Why did the orange run half way down the hill?
It ran out of juice.



What do you call a grouchy hamburger?
A crabby patty!



What did the traffic light say to the zebra?
Close your eyes I'm changing.



What do you call a polar bear in the jungle?
Lost.



What Do You Call a cow on the floor?
Ground Beef.

Why did the workers at the Mint go on strike?
They wanted to make less money.

How did Barbie pay for her new outfit?
With dolly bills.


Jack: "Can you change a quarter for me?"
Jill: "Sure"
Jack: "Then change it into a dollar!"


Why is the moon worth only a dollar?
Because it has four quarters.


What do you call a chicken that robs people?
A peck-pocket.


Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich?
Because the poor have no money.


How do you stop an elephant from charging?
You take away his credit card.


What do you call a rabbit who works in a bank?
A money bunny.


What do you call a rabbit who
makes counterfeit bills?

A funny money bunny.


How do you stop a snake from striking?
Pay it decent wages.


Customer: How much is that duck?

Shopkeeper: Ten dollars.

Customer: Okay, could you
please send me the bill?

Shopkeeper: I'm sorry, but you'll
have to take the whole bird.

Who earns a living by driving
his customers away?

A taxi-driver.


Why did the bees go on strike?
For more honey and shorter flowers.

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