What kind of button won't unbutton?
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Why is Dracula so unpopular?
He's a pain in the neck.
What did the chewing gum say to the shoe?
Im Stuck On You
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!
Why did the jelly wobble?
Because it saw the milk shake!
What kind of key opens a banana?
What does a shark eat with peanut butter?
How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!
What pet makes the loudest noise?
Why did Tommy throw the clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly!
What do you call artificial spaghetti?
What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving?
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
What do you get when you put a fish and an elephant together?
Honeycomb your hair!
Just in time for dinner!
Roach you a letter, did you get it?
Anita tissue....ah-choo! Too late!
Rita book, you might learn something!
What did the judge say when the
skunk walked in the court room?
Odor in the court!
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogey in it!
Why did the man put his money
in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!
What has four legs but can't walk?
What did the ground say to the
You crack me up!
What did the spider do on the
Made a website!
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.
What do you call a pony with a
A little horse.
What do you call cheese that is
Why is Basketball such a messy
Because you dribble on the floor!
What do you get when you put a
fish and an elephant together?
What goes up when the rain comes
What disappears when you stand
What did the big firecracker
say to the little firecracker?
My pop is bigger than yours.
do you call a boomerang
that doesn't come back?
How does a skeleton call his friends?
On a Telebone
What gives milk and has one horn?
A milk truck!
did King Tut say to the museum?
I want my mummy!
goes TICK-TICK, WOOF-WOOF?
Why do male deer need braces?
Because they have "buck teeth!"
What runs but never walks?
How do you make milk shake?
Give it a good scare!
What flies and wobbles at the
A jelly copter!
Waiter, this soup tastes funny?
Then why aren't you laughing!
Why did the clock get sick?
It was run down!
Why did the orange run half way
down the hill?
It ran out of juice.
do you call a grouchy hamburger?
A crabby patty!
did the traffic light say to the zebra?
Close your eyes I'm changing.
do you call a polar bear in the jungle?
Do You Call a cow on the floor?
did the workers at the Mint go on strike?
They wanted to make less money.
did Barbie pay for her new outfit?
With dolly bills.
"Can you change a quarter for me?"
Jack: "Then change it into a dollar!"
is the moon worth only a dollar?
Because it has four quarters.
do you call a chicken that robs people?
did Robin Hood steal from the rich?
Because the poor have no money.
do you stop an elephant from charging?
You take away his credit card.
do you call a rabbit who works in a bank?
A money bunny.
do you call a rabbit who
makes counterfeit bills?
A funny money bunny.
do you stop a snake from striking?
Pay it decent wages.
How much is that duck?
Shopkeeper: Ten dollars.
Customer: Okay, could you
please send me the bill?
Shopkeeper: I'm sorry, but you'll
have to take the whole bird.
earns a living by driving
his customers away?
did the bees go on strike?
For more honey and shorter flowers.